Unplanned Kitchen Update

I actually thought the kitchen saga was more or less over. The work was done, illogically and haphazardly, and we had moved on. But no, someone had to kick the beehive again.

If you're new to this blog, there is a long, long history to this. I dare you to put on your favorite Dilbert pocket protector, refill your coffee, and read all the posts tagged Kitchen Remodel, from the oldest post forward.

Came in for the day shift a few days ago to find a slight modification. Specifically, a new counter.


No one asked for it. We sure didn't need it. There's no plumbing, no electric, and no nearby anything else you want in that corner. And, so far, nothing to put on it.

We just added clutter and cleaning space, usage pending. Important stuff.

I suspect we could have used this money to move the fridge as previously intended, but as usual I am not privy to the master plan.

The Truth About Lying

The time has come for my full time employer, the power company, to initiate the very complicated, bureaucratic, and inefficient employee review process. It is a colossal waste of time, and I won't get into too many specifics, because you don't care, and you've got your own problems, I know.

Suffice to say that as long as you're not trying to sabotage your career and being a clueless knucklehead, your COLA raise is going to be what it is going to be, no matter what your review looks like or what nice things you say about yourself. Just give me my raise and let me get back to work.

Anyway, I digress.

One of the elements of the process requires the employee to pick out a couple of company-provided classes to attend in the next year. I'm pretty weak on Microsoft Access, so I ran a search through the course listings for "microsoft".

I did a triple-take on the #5 result: "How to Lie with Charts"

Really.  You can click the image above to see the bigger version, or just look at this next one:

So is this "lie" like deceive, or attempt procreation with? Like you, I couldn't tell. Let's investigate.

I opened the description. It is a very normal description about a course on making useful charts for presentations to help get your point across. Nothing in the description turned the title into a witty joke. At least it wasn't a primer on creating little chartlings, though this company has taught me to not be surprised by anything.

All I can figure is whoever made up the course had to give it a title and couldn't think of what to use at the moment, just slapping in how they really feel. And forgot to go back later.

It made it through all the pre-publication reviews. And there it is.

Awesome.

 

The Gods of Logic are Crying

Even those who love destroying logic are slack-jawed.

I returned from my days off to find that the Kitchen Remodel is complete. It ended with the new floor and refreshed walls.

The Fridge? Back where it started.

Yes, you heard that correctly. Back where it started.

Why?

There's no power outlet on the wall where they wanted to put it.

Yes, you heard that correctly. There is no power outlet located where desired, in the very building which serves as the nerve center for the freaking power company.

Recap boiled down: Fridge too big. Remodel of kitchen ordered up to move cabinets to fit new fridge. Mid-remodel, budget is slashed, fridge will just be moved, but won't have access to water supply that justified its purchase. Late-mid-remodel, lack of power outlet is noted, fridge won't go to new home because we're out of money to install a freaking outlet.

Maybe we could eBay the table to raise those funds.

I will upgrade my observation of those who love defying logic. Nay, they are not merely slack-jawed. Yes, even the haters of logic are crying.

Kitchen Problem, errr..... Remodel Update

It has begun. Earlier than anticipated.

Review:
Amazing Kitchen Developments!

I'll try to be brief. When planned, this remodel was intended to change up the cabinets and counters to fit the new fridge. So all of the furniture was removed, including the fridge. A new floor was laid down. A very expensive, durable, industrial no-skid floor, which is in direct conceptual conflict with the previous replacement of our very durable metal/formica table, with a fancy $700 black finished wooden table. Yeah. Vulnerable carpeting and indestructible table out, and in with indestructible flooring and a vulnerable table. Both expensive. Both unnecessary.

But what's this? Costs are too high? Just a few weeks ago this was not a problem, but things changed in a short time. It will be expensive to replace the cabinets, so let's just leave them where they are, and when we're done with the floor and walls we'll put the new fridge over on a different wall instead.

If you've followed the saga all along, you can probably see where we're going.

Along with a ton of other unnecessary changes, the fridge that was replaced without cause was an overall downgrade, and it doesn't fit where the old one went. Through the evolution of progress, a kitchen remodel was proposed and accepted so that a reconfiguration will allow the fridge to fit. In mid-renovation, the budget was adjusted, eliminating the cabinetry changes, Now the fridge is going where you can't hook up water to it (one of the given reasons this fridge was bought in the first place was to replace our water cooler vendor contract with a water-dispensing model).

When all is said and done, the cabinets will be unchanged. The fridge will be on another wall, and there will still be a corner void where it used to go. The water coolers will still be here. We'll have a new floor and redone walls, which were never needed to begin with. Hell, NONE of this was ever needed at all. I can't fathom the number of cases of hot chocolate this project could have funded.

Remind me why we did this again? Never mind, just clobber me with a baseball bat and put me out of my misery.

Amazing Kitchen Developments!

There is a very, very long story behind this. Thankfully, I have already written all about it here, so all you have to do is go back and read it again. Go visit the restroom and refill your coffee before you start.

OK, ready? Read these:

The Pre-Plan

Follow up to The Pre-Plan,

The Silly Fallout Continues,

Speechless..... can't think of a title any more,

and lastly, Office silliness update

Off topic: Today I noted that the pretty red garbage can with the missing lid is MIA. No idea how long it has been gone.

Back on topic.

So in summary, the transmission operations department was offered a chance to use a bunch of money on upgrades, but was not given the option to bank the money for future needs. It was use it or lose it.

From a global company point of view, if upgrades are not required, I'd like to see the extra funds in my paycheck or to hire more help. However, from a management point of view, I can see why those in charge opted to grab the money and run.

How it was subsequently spent was oh so flaky, as I have documented in excess. Well-meaning, but ill-executed. The epitome of the execution was the new refrigerator that was larger than the old one, and did not fit in its alcove. Therefore, ever since, it has sat out away from the wall, at a right angle, leaving the back corner inaccessible. It's ugly back there. Dust, garbage, food detritus. No one can really reach back there to clean. And come on, it looks plain silly.

There's been a little light-hearted ridicule about the spendy upgrades, especially in light of the unrelated decision to cut off many of the little extra kitchen perks. The runner up to the sideways fridge of course being the fancy table.

So, to stop drawing attention to the problem, we've moved on to other office and operational problems....

...until recently, when an subtle signal was sent downstream by a VP higher up: WTH is with that kitchen arrangement? Something must be done! And viola!, the skids are greased, and even more money has been made available to fix the problem. Lots more.

Yes. The entire kitchen is going to be remodeled, prompted mainly by the oversize fridge purchase.

That's the ticket. You know, I can't quite tell, but our boss might be brilliant. He might have actually done all this on purpose with the new kitchen in sight all along. You never know.

So if you were the manager making these decisions in the beginning:

If you declined the upgrades in the first place, letting someone else have the funds but owning a clean conscience that you caused no waste, and kept your happy serviceable kitchen, you made the sensible call.

If you allowed the upgrades, owned up to the oversize fridge and traded it for the right size, you made a wasteful call but at least your kitchen doesn't look silly.

If you allowed the upgrades and deliberately bought on oversize fridge to obliquely force a complete kitchen remodel, you're brilliant, and made a really great call. Either that or you have exceptional dumb luck, but you'll never tell.

Remains to be seen if the counters will be red. Pictures will be forthcoming, but the work is months away.

The table finally got dirty

I wasn't fast enough to get a picture before it got cleaned up, but I am finally able to report that the useless new table in our power dispatch kitchen was cluttered and dirty today, perhaps for the first time ever, thanks to a dual-birthday event resulting in a cheesecake and birthday cake being served from it.

The scene was not too much unlike what happened in the movie Office Space (one of my personal favorites):


Anyway, glad that $700+ investment is being put to good use. Took a long time, though. At this rate, we're being so hard on that table that it might only last us around 500 years.

The old Formica one would have made it 800 years, even if we were rebuilding small engines on it daily.

Carry on.

Office silliness update

Background posts:

The Pre-Plan
Follow up to The Pre-Plan
The Silly Fallout Continues
Speechless..... can't think of a title any more

Just a short update.

The chairs to go with the too-tall table arrived two or three weeks ago. I have yet to see anyone sit in them, nor have I ever seen the new table dirty since it arrived:



We got a new coffee maker and new coffee dispensers. Nothing wrong with the old ones. The old and perfectly good coffee maker rests next to the recycle and trash bins in the background:



I may have to look into giving the old power company coffee machine a new fire station home if it is otherwise destined for the landfill. Station 53's coffee maker is crap, and this would be a huge upgrade.

Lastly, the void that used to be where a properly-sized fridge would go is collecting detritus. Ironically, the new fridge was supposed to get its own water line so it could provide us cold filtered water and let us discontinue the water cooler vendor. No water line yet, but the cooler fits well back there. You can also see the sad, sorry, laid-off old coffee dispensers. And the cute red trash can lost its lid within a week of me taking the last picture of it.



No seems to be griping any more, though. They've apparently been desensitized to the insanity.

Speechless..... can't think of a title any more

The absurdity continues.

Again.... if you be a newcomer.... first you must reference The Pre-Plan, Follow up to The Pre-Plan and The Silly Fallout Continues.

Today I noted the following new arrivals:

* Electric skillet. This actually is the first good thing that has appeared.
* Red plastic tupperware-type food storage bins (uh... we bring our own from home, folks).
* Cutting board. With red handles. Of course.

But the best part of all was that someone figured out what to do with the dead space behind the sideways fridge.


I am beginning to understand why firearms are not permitted in this workplace.

The Silly Fallout Continues

If you just stumbled into this blog..... well, my condolences, and I hope your employer offers you an EAP plan.

So.... yeah, if you just stumbled in, the following post won't make sense until you first read The Pre-Plan and then Follow up to The Pre-Plan.

I thought the storm of unneeded accessories was completed when the nice table showed up, but no. Came in tonight and found this.


You can see for yourself the matching red trash can and dust buster vac. We have a cleaning service come through daily, though. The little vacuum might be a hint to get ready for that to go away, too. And oddly, the other two generic office-style trash cans in this room (that worked fine all along) are still here. I don't think anyone is using the cute red one.

Better yet, though, you can see that the empty plastic bins (shown previously in the picture with the square dishes) have been replaced by smaller, cute metal ones. The old ones were fine, really, I mean, they still worked. But spending money for these I guess makes it less obvious that we're spending less money on what used to go on the counter there. Spend more to downplay that you're spending less. I think I just talked myself into chasing my tail.

O Logic, Where Art Thou? I'm going to go cry in a corner.

Follow up to The Pre-Plan

When I took the job at this uber-large electric utility, I noted during the interview phase (which is very much a two-way exchange) that the company provided not just coffee, but also hot chocolate, hot spiced cider, more than a dozen varieties of tea, microwave popcorn, and several other little kitchen-based perks. They don't buy your lunch outright, but the extras can smooth over some of the daily annoyances.

That ended a few months ago. We dispatchers noted that supplies were running low, and eventually were depleted. We raided the stocks of some other departments housed in the ECC to carry us a little longer while we waited for a reply on our inquiries about who dropped the restocking ball.

Finally it came out that the company was no longer going to buy anything other than coffee, filters, and creamer. We even lost the flavored creamers (oh how I miss the Irish Cream stuff). We were a little put out that the notification didn't come out until after the stocks were gone, but who asks us our opinion on anything other than shedding firm electrical load to save the free world?

OK, reality check. In this economy, anyone should be lucky to have a job at all, let alone one that provides you with cable TV, coffee, secure parking, and the internet to entertain yourself all night when the grid is humming along without incident. Just understand, I am not complaining loudly about the loss of the other perks, because honestly, I've still got a GREAT gig doing a job I really like doing, and getting paid more than I am worth to do it. If I really wanted to whine about it, it would have been a blog post back when the stuff disappeared.

As you may recall, a new, unnecessary, and unresearched refrigerator recently showed up. That brought out some derisive comments, of course. For what it is worth, the fridge situation is so far unchanged, it sits sideways in the corner, sticking out into the room.


Then, other stuff started to show up, unannounced and unrequested. Nice stuff. Color-coordinated, even. A nice set of knives in a block, a toaster oven, a hotplate (which I've still never seen used), and ... a popcorn maker? We got rid of company-issued microwave popcorn and then bought this? There's more, but these things were grouped nicely together. The new red-handled silverware sets look good, too.


Then the new dishes showed up. No one asked for new dishes. We liked our hodgepodge collection of oversized bowls and coffee mugs, and everyone had their personal favorites or brought in spares from home. Gone, and replaced with this cheesy... square-ish set. Shown next to the now-empty flavored coffee creamer bins.


Now this was about the limit. You ever try to eat out of square dishes? It's goofy. Must drink from a corner (which feels like drinking from a porcelain milk carton), because drinking from the flat sends coffee down your cheeks and off your chin. How about stirring microwave ravioli or instant oatmeal in a tiny, square bowl? Breaking News: It is tricky to stir anything in a square container. If anyone had asked us, we would have advised accordingly before this undersized cuteness was purchased. But alas, no, those that actually, you know.... use this stuff, were not consulted. Without a true, full kitchen, there's a lot of instant this and quick-stir that made here. Dinky, breakable, square dishes do not belong in this environment.

And then this showed up.


Gone was the old, indestructible formica-topped circular table. And its chairs. Here is this new, shiny, fancy, black-finished $750 counter-height wood table with internal expansion leaf. And no chairs, seeing as how the old ones weren't tall enough for the new table. What, did you just say $750? Yes. Seven Hundred and Fifty Dollars. For a table we didn't need or want, that we can't sit at anyway. But since we skipped the chairs, I suppose that we saved a few bucks.

The crews soon realized: Do you have ANY idea how much hot chocolate, coffee creamer and spiced cider mix you can buy for the ~$2,000+ we just spent on un-asked for and un-researched "upgrades" that mostly were a step backwards for us?

Management says it was facilities money to be spent or forfeit, from a different bucket than the goodies used to be paid for with.

As I tell the new kids when they ask certain questions: "Junior, how many times do I have to tell you to leave your bag of logic at the door? It has no place here."

Still waiting to see if we remodel to fit the new fridge that was not needed, never asked for, and ultimately a downgrade. Probably red countertops (to match the spoons) will be included.

Help.

The Pre-Plan

Showed up for work at the power company this fine Christmas morning.

Keeping the lights and the heat on for you while you do whatever you do this holiday. Don't mention it. I get paid extra to be here and I am happy to have a job.

Anyway, for some reason, the refrigerator was replaced during my days off. Looks like the person in charge ordered a really nice stainless steel side-by-side to replace the old one. What was wrong with the old white enamel one is not clear. Apparently the boss simply wanted us to have a new one. With stainless steel.

They didn't go cheap. Bought a side-by-side to replace the old over/under. After all, we're a multi-billion $$$ company, so we can afford it.

If you've never compared refrigerators... typical mid-line over/unders are about 33" wide, while side-by-sides are rarely (if ever) less than 38" wide.

Yeah, you can see where this is going.

So in the corner of the control center kitchen, where the old fridge used to be, the new one is in front of the old hole, turned 90 degrees and against the side wall. Now we have the loss of space in the kitchen, the open and inaccessible hole blocked by the sideways fridge in front of it which will no doubt gather accidental trash and crud, and you know..... the new one has less fridge space than the old one overall, in exchange for a bigger freezer that we pretty much never use.

Not to mention, the all-important pizza box doesn't fit in a side-by-side.

Nice upgrade.

Pre-plan FAIL.

I'll keep you posted on what comes next: (A) Swap for smaller fridge (with or without consulting the guys who actually use it), (B) Spend a bundle to remodel a kitchen that does not need a remodel so that the wrong fridge will now fit, or (C) just leave the goofy situation as is.