Hottest Costume of 2009: Illegal Falcon Alien

A Grumpy Dispatcher Original Creation.

My apologies for the image quality, I am not working with my normal tools here.. I had to scrape this together with MS Paint. Ugh.

Anyway... After Falcon Heene (didn't) make the infamous balloon flight in Colorado, I present you with the Illegal Falcon Alien costume.



Thanks, I'll be here all week.

The EMS 2.0 Buzz -- and Requisite Rant

I'm not under any illusions that people are reading this blog to learn what's going on in the fire/EMS universe. That's what Firegeezer and Happy Medic Headquarters and Fire Critic and others in that league are for. I don't hope to ever be that popular, and it is probably best for me to stay that way anyway.

So, no doubt you've heard of EMS 2.0 already. It's the latest buzz, and while I certainly like the concept, it is picking up steam so fast... almost too fast, and I am worried about it spinning out of control before liftoff. I want it to be useful, and not over evolve into a bigger mess than we already have. I have my popcorn handy though... should be fun to watch.

I had an event a few weeks ago that was almost bloggable, but not really. But then again, it was a silly event. And then it further dawned on me that my silly event was obliquely related to EMS 2.0.

Woo hoo! That's enough to go with. And I can use "EMS 2.0" in a blog post! I've arrived!

OK, seriously....

While the aspects of EMS 2.0 I have seen the most of involve a more dynamic outcome-based approach to providing initial contact medical assistance, to best utilize our resources, the aspect getting slightly less coverage as I see it is on the initiation side.

This is of course assuming I know what I am talking about. Perhaps I should stick with the power line stuff.

Anyway... I'm not sure how to move away from our current EMS initiation model, due to the litigation-driven culture we exist in here in the States, but at some point we have to stop throwing resources at problems when they're known to be not needed or not even asked for.

And so here's my silly personal story.

I was minding my own business, driving in the City, when I stumbled upon a two car "T-bone" blocking collision. As I pulled past the vehicles doing the automatic habitual size-up, it looked like all occupants were out, no airbags. It wasn't that hard of a hit.

I pulled off the road and made sure my cell phone was handy, but didn't want to call it in until I had useful information for the 911 dispatchers. As I approached, the drivers were moving their vehicles off the road.

No spills, no major hazards, no traffic problem. Looks like I am not needed. Still, I checked with them to be sure.

One of the drivers asked for law enforcement. All involved explicitly denied any desire for fire or EMS. Now, I am not convinced the brothers in blue are needed, either, for a non-injury accident with no tow truck required. I mean, c'mon, let's trade insurance info and move along. But they asked, I had the phone, I said I'd at least pass along the request.

911 Dispatcher: 911, what is your emergency?
Grumpy Dispatcher: Hi, this is firefighter Grumpy, I'm on scene of a non-injury, non-blocking accident at 45th and Main, and I have one of the drivers requesting law enforcement, if you have any units available.
911: You say there are no injuries?
GD: That's affirmative, all three involved parties are out and not reporting any injuries. One of them is rubbing her neck, but they're all OK.

What the heck, why did I just say that? Dang it, now I've gone and done it.. Crap.

911: You said someone is holding their neck?
GD: (sighing) Yes, but they have already declined medical attention.
911: OK, we're going to go ahead and send fire and medical just to be sure, so they can get refusals.

I had already played the FF card, so if my advice was going to be followed up front, we would not already be this far. No value arguing now.

GD: Well, since they've declined EMS, a Code 1 response is probably appropriate.
911: OK, they're on the way, thanks for calling.

Click.

Erg.

The drivers are exchanging information now. I approach to tell them that fire is on the way even though I said they weren't needed.

A minute or so later, I hear them. Yeah, 'hear'.

Rescue 14, then Engine 14, and then a private Medic arrives. All Code 3, all busting the nearest intersection to get into the parking lot we're in.

I sheepishly apologized to them and gave them the quick rundown. Refusals were obtained. Units returned to service. The guys knew the score, this kind of Code 3 refusal errand is not unusual here.

So at what point do we go back to realizing refusal forms need not be filled out unless crews are on scene in the first place? At what point can a dispatcher follow the advice of a verified FF to modify a response, or to cancel one... or not start one in the first place? If I had been on the radio, the cancel would have been heeded. Why not by phone? I'm still FF Grumpy, so why does my authority change depending on how I communicated?

EMS 2.0, we eagerly await your arrival. We'll be at the dock, waiting. Unless we're on our way hot to get another legal document signed.

Identifying the T-Shirt Firefighter in its Natural Habitat

This is a Public Service Message. Don't be a T-Shirt Firefighter (TSF).

I'd like to assist you in identifying a TSF should one be in your vicinity. You may be acclimated to their presence and no longer recognize them. Worse, you may be one and not realize it. Acknowledging you have a problem is the first step to solving it. I recovered. So can you.

A TSF is a firefighter who attaches more importance to wearing a uniform fire department T-shirt than knowing or doing the job itself. TSFs come in all varieties: Career, part-time and volunteer, even non-firefighters have been known to be a TSF. A TSF will wear a uniform T-shirt to all events, even a wedding or funeral, just so everyone 'feels safe' and the ladies know or assume his career.

When wearing a uniform T-Shirt, the TSF will make sure his back (with the largest-possible white lettering "FIRE" etc.) is frequently flashed towards other potential alpha males in the room to discourage them from approaching mating females near the TSF's territory.

Fledgling TSFs may attempt to mimic older, experienced Real Firefighters in ways similar to certain insects that have evolved markings to resemble something different and generally more dangerous in order to ward off enemies. One such method is to repeatedly wash and wear their shirts so that they look well-worn. This leaves the impression that their plumage has naturally faded due to exposure to The Job. This actually is quite easy to accomplish, since they wear the T-Shirt almost every day anyway. It is frequently possible to distinguish the TSF from the Real Firefighter by comparing the relative age of the wearer with the apparent age of the T-Shirt. When the T-Shirt appears older than the wearer, you have likely found a TSF. There are exceptions, as some TSFs live to a fairly old age. Actual Firefighters use old shirts for painting, working out or sleeping, but never on duty or in public.

Sophisticated TSFs that have evolved beyond the basic T-Shirt appearance have developed alternative plumages which come in many forms, a few examples of which are below.







More mature TSFs which desire something additional to display to other potential alpha males than their shirt alone have adapted accessories to this purpose. The preferred accessory is a portable radio, especially when a simple pager would otherwise be adequate. Newer modern compact designs are beginning to gain popularity but there is still no substitute for the unmistakable bulk of the Motorola HT600 or MT1000. Additional radio size can be gained by wearing this radio using a leather wraparound holster hanging off of a belt or a shoulder strap with a reflective stripe, and additional flair can be added by labeling the radio or holster with "METRO FIRE UNIT 565" etc, using reflective or high contrast materials in the largest size possible. This is as close as a pedestrian can come to resembling a Big Red Truck.

Fledgling TSFs can compensate for their lack of radio by obtaining a hand-held scanner from Radio Shack and affixing similar labels to disguise their decoy scanner as a real radio. In all cases, the radio accessory can be enhanced by insisting on wearing two or three pagers and a cell phone alongside it. Seasoned accessorized TSFs usually are unable to wear their pants level due to the resultant drag on one side, and the many accessories may even cause a slight limp over time that can conveniently be implied as an old firefighting injury.

TSFs not satisfied with the radio accessory alone have adopted some behaviors exhibited by the T-Shirt Medic (TSM), namely equipping themselves with pocket CPR mask carriers which are replaced as soon as the printed "CPR MASK" wears off the case. The second most-favored borrowed accessory is the glove pack, rendered most effective if the ends of two gloves are visibly hanging out of the pack. Other variants on this behavior include displaying shears, seatbelt cutters, first aid tape, penlights, etc. It seems inevitable that evolution will eventually result in a day where TSMs will attempt to carry a small six-minute O2 canister strapped to their leg, an ability which will no doubt soon be passed to the most advanced TSFs.

The mating call of TSFs - which they may continue to broadcast despite its dubious effectiveness - is the sound of a pager or radio dispatching a job at the loudest possible volume in any part of their natural environment, which includes worship services, movie theaters, formal dining establishments, etc. A determined TSF also uses the mating call of competing TSFs as well as Real Firefighters by emitting the mating call of every agency within a 50 mile radius as if it were its own, and showing grave concern over "white smoke seen coming from a chimney" for an agency three districts away. When actual mating possibilities seem dubious despite the mating call, the TSF may attempt to save face upon their exit by departing as if off on an important mission, regardless of whose mating call was actually used in the failed attempt.

Now that you can reliably identify the TSF should one have established their habitat near you, you are able to avoid or rehabilitate them as seems prudent to your situation.

That is all. Be safe today.

Fire Hydrant as Grounding Rod Fail

Deftly blending power grid stuff with fire department stuff yet again... not sure how long I can keep this up!

Actually, attaching your neutral grounding wire to a hydrant is electrically very effective. Obviously, not such a good use of fire protection resources, though.

Tutorial 8: Introduction to System Protection

What have we learned so far? We know the difference between AC and DC power, how energy is scheduled and accounted for, how it is decided which generators will run and how high, how interconnected power companies help each other out when they lose a unit, and quite a bit about power lines from big transmission to little distribution.
Has this been helpful so far?

Today's topic is in regard to why the system protects itself when bad things happen.

The system protects itself for two reasons: To prevent damage, and to maintain stability (ie. not collapse the whole house of cards). Although the correlation is not precise between fire hydraulics and electrical flows, nonetheless major system disturbances can have far-reaching and disruptive ripple effects that could be compared to the water hammer effect.

Extremely high or low amp flows and voltages pose a real threat of causing permanent damage to everything exposed to the swings, from multi-million dollar substation transformers all the way down to your DVD player. It is far better to instantly disconnect the world and drop the whole potato, because if you save the equipment, you have something to put back together. If you disconnect late, there isn't much point in trying to restore a system made up of fried parts.

When voltages and flows go to pre-programmed extreme limits (by line/equipment faults or simple overflows), protection systems activate to remove elements from the system in order to prevent damage to the transmission infrastructure, and also to prevent damage to customer equipment. It isn't unusual for a 'ripple' to occur when elements are removed, resulting in momentary spikes in flows and voltages, sometimes causing more elements to be removed, causing more ripples, causing.... yeah. There are well-paid transmission protection engineers who spend their careers trying to balance instant protection of the assets with not crashing things worse. Frankly, I find that stuff fascinating, but don't want their job.

It is a testament to those protection engineers that hundreds of major transmission lines and thousands of distribution circuits trip out as a matter of routine every day all across North America for all reasons imaginable, yet system protection isolates the problem so quickly that the vast majority of problems are cleared in seconds or a fraction of a second. Unless it is a distribution circuit that tripped and you're on it with several hundred other people, you don't generally notice that anything happened anywhere else.

The August 2003 Northeast blackout in the United States was a major comedy of errors and things going exactly wrong. How is it described by those dissecting airline disasters? An unfortunate sequential confluence of unforeseen events, or something like that. Super rare. It will happen again, but the 99.999999999% norm is that it doesn't, which is remarkable when you take in the scope and complexity of everything that goes into this machine.

For what it is worth, system disturbances do cause split-second bumps that go by faster than a blink of the eye in areas regional to the problem. Most dispatchers are attuned to that, and see it in a momentary hiccup in the lights several times a day at home and at work, often knowing a trip alarm is coming one or two seconds before it appears on the console, or wryly smirking when seen at home, knowing that some dispatcher is about to get interrupted. Sometimes we see it and the alarm doesn't come in, because it happened on a neighboring system. That said, these happen so fast that almost no one else notices them at all. Which is how we like it.

System protection is done in layers, in a way that breaks up the chain of transmission from the power plant to your breaker panel into many segments. Each segment has something protecting it, and each segment has at least one higher level of protection in place if the first one fails. And if the backup fails, the backup is backed up at the next level. And so on. Sometimes protection settings are not tight enough or sensitive enough (to wit: Must-See Video of Line Fault and Reclose) and issues happen, but the concept is generally very reliable.

I think that's enough for today. It's Saturday. You get the general idea, but no math or excessive technical jargon, nor homework.

What we learned: There's a ton of mysterious stuff set up out there designed to prevent blackouts, by removing faulted and overloaded parts of the grid faster than Barack Obama earns Nobel Peace Prizes. Oops, I said I wasn't gonna do that again. Sorry. And if you know a dispatcher and you see a minor nervous tic once in a while, don't worry about it, they just detected a line fault hundreds of miles away with their spidey sense, that's all.

Technical stuff next time. Don't worry though. It's pretty cool. Well, to some of us. Take it easy for the rest of the day.


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